Why I Stopped Blogging

Today I was on the phone with my fiancée and he mentioned he still checks my blog daily despite the fact that I don’t blog often anymore. It got me thinking about all the reasons I don’t really feel like sitting here and rambling on about my day to day life at the moment.

The truth is, I think it is a lot easier to share things openly when things aren’t going so well. Blogging about my illness and the struggles it created always felt good because it felt like I could help someone. Blogging about this past year, on the other hand, just feels like bragging. That being said, there’s a lot to be said for spreading hope and positivity – something I myself look for when reading online content. Had I been able to find someone with similar symptoms who experienced such a great turn around, I probably would have glommed onto them. But I’m still reluctant to share too many highs, why’s is that?

I think this prominently stems from the fact that I never want to mitigate the struggle of Lyme disease. I still take more pills than post people take in a week every single day. I still have to limit my physical activity and pace myself. I still sometimes have bad days and find myself scheduling in bed days every few weeks. But in between all that I’m doing so much and experiencing so much happiness that I’m afraid this will be confused with 100% recovery. There’s nothing more defeating than having someone say “I thought you were better” when I bow out of something due to my illness.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that not everyone is rooting for your happiness and recovery. This past year has been an absolute crazy uphill ride with some of the best days of my life – but I’ve also lost touch with people who I realize now probably weren’t actually hoping for the best. I don’t know if maybe people take comfort in knowing you’re struggling, or if it’s something deeper than that, but apparently it’s quite common in the chronic illness community to feel some isolation as you go through recovery.

Honestly, I’d love to promise that I’ll begin posting regularly again – but it may take some time for me to feel just as comfortable sharing the good parts of my life with the internet.

2019 Refresh

Hello! Sorry for completely abandoning my little corner of the internet. The last two months of 2018 were a complete whirlwind which put writing on the back burner. To catch you up the first thing you should know is I’m engaged!! October 16, 2018 my best friend asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and the proceeded to try and put the ring on the wrong hand for what felt like an eternity. It was singlehandedly the happiest moment of my life!

He then proceeded to hop back on a plane to Atlanta leaving me six weeks to plan plan plan! I have the venue, the dress, the guest list, the flowers, the hair and makeup, the bridesmaids dresses, and so much more ready to go. Now it’s just a waiting game until June 8th.

Then I hopped back across the border and spent five weeks with my Southern family in Atlanta and Mississippi. It was an incredible trip filled with so much love, laughter, and southern hospitality.

Unfortunately 2019 got off to a much worse start. The minute I arrived home I was whisked to the hospital to spend the final few days of my grandfather’s life by his side. I am so grateful that I got home in time to say a proper goodbye and be surrounded by loved ones. He was a wonderful man and will be missed dearly.

Because of how the year started, making New Years resolutions has been very low on my priority list. That being said, I do want to make a few notable changes. While I loved this space when I first started blogging the pressure to help people soon became very overwhelming. Towards the end of 2018 I found myself turning off my phone more and more and it felt really good to step away. Because of this I don’t want to make any blog promises, but I would like to try and blog more with an emphasis on memory keeping and my life as opposed to constantly trying to maintain a strict schedule. My only other resolution is to start walking. Prior to becoming sick I was a great little runner, and I loved having the outlet to clear my head. Since being sick I’ve tried to start running again so many times I’ve lost count, but each time I find it too hard on my damaged heart. So instead I’d like to try walking and see if that gives me the same sense of calm.

Other than that I just want to keep on the same path, 2018 was such a great year for me, and I’ll be forever thankful for it.

A Blog Update

Hop on over to chronicallyblushing.com for more!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone from my family to yours!

My day started super early at 6:00am – a tradition that I hope never fades. We spent the morning opening presents before I quickly hopped back in bed for a three hour nap. That was followed by turkey and some Christmas visits.

We were also lucky enough to get a bit of snow; not the nor easter that was predicted, but just enough to make everything sparkle.

Hope you all had a wonderful day!

Christmas Preparation

Yesterday I spent the entire day getting ready for Christmas.. but not in the way you’re probably imagining. I actually spent the entire day in bed, drifting between naps and YouTube videos, preparing my body for the upcoming days of festive activities while simultaneously recovering from the last few busy days of work before the break.

It’s now noon on Christmas Eve and I am officially feeling ready for the holidays. All of my presents are wrapped, everything is tidied, and there’s nothing left to do but celebrate.

I’m very fortunate to have such an understanding family who not only accepts but encourages me to properly pace myself during lyme recovery. Hopefully now I’ll be able to celebrate the holidays to the fullest.

My Book Club Project

One of my favourite ways to pass the time is undoubtedly with a good book. While I enjoy scrolling through social media as much as the next person, I’m most relaxed when I’m a few chapters deep into a great story. I’ve also learned this is one of the easiest ways to take my mind off my surroundings, be it a hospital waiting room, or after countless hours in bed, books provide a great distraction to whatever is going on around me.

One of the reasons I decided to start this blog was to connect with people in similar situations. I know firsthand the loneliness that comes along with being chronically ill and thought it might be beneficial to connect with other people with similar circumstances. In trying to think of ways to create a little community I had the idea for an online bookclub, where people could join together towards a common goal while talking about things that interest them.

While my idea is not completely flushed out yet, my initial thought is one book a month for all of 2018. Throughout the month we can take our time and discuss things related to it without any strict deadlines or pressure. I’ll also dedicate a few blog posts a month to certain themes brought up in the book. We could even sprinkle in a few book giveaways to participants / commenters.

Do you have any ideas or suggestions that might help this idea come to fruition? Any favourite books you thinks others should read? Let me know in the comments below.